Here is the dream of how I think that I will be able to work just because I've said to myself that I will. Someone always comes and asks me how I am doing. In the dream I am doing very well. In fact I am doing so well that I have been able to clean my room, go to the gym and feed my dog.
In horrifying reality though I'm ashamed to say that the picture above depicts the truth. Instead of doing tonnes of work I do the polar opposite aka no work. I'm unsure why it is that liking every single post on facebook suddenly becomes the most interesting thing to do in the world or why I end up sending countless wall posts to people I really don't care about anymore. Or why my knowledge of buffaloes increases because all it does is lead to me procrastinating until the night before the deadline and then UBER PANIC MODE ensues.
Then this goes one of two ways. Either I complete my assignment with probably only minutes to spare before the deadline. So it is rushed and probably grammatically horrendous. It also means I end up buying thousands of pens because every single time I can never find a pen to write my name on the hand in sheet. So the SU shop has probably made a sweet fortune out of constant ineptness to carry a pen on me.
The other option is that I go into a complete meltdown and then don't hand anything in at all or half the words that were expected of me. This has luckily only occurred to me once, but still it was the worst once of my life. I spent the rest of the day wishing that the sofa would eat me up and that I would be freed from this tragic existence of bathing in the knowledge that I had definitely without question failed. I swamped around my flat in a mixture of over-tiredness and disgrace. My flatmates must have found my personal failing to be hilarious but they attempted to keep their opinions to themselves. Which was good cause I already pretty much wanted to end my life.
Ironically this post is being written when I need to do a fuck-ton of work. So I'd better scoot off and make an attempt at that.
